1
00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:10,942
<i>Gomer Pyle - USMC.</i>

2
00:00:12,496 --> 00:00:15,029
<i>Starring Jim Nabors
as Gomer Pyle.</i>

3
00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:20,301
<i>Also starring Frank
Sutton as Sergeant Carter.</i>

4
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,404
Hemsley!

5
00:00:39,472 --> 00:00:42,891
Yes, sir! What
does that sign say?

6
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,492
Mess hall, sir!

7
00:00:44,561 --> 00:00:49,064
And what do we use a
mess hall for, Hemsley?

8
00:00:49,133 --> 00:00:51,366
Eating, sir! That's right!

9
00:00:51,435 --> 00:00:53,980
And that's the
only place we eat!

10
00:00:54,004 --> 00:00:55,882
We don't eat on the grounds!

11
00:00:55,906 --> 00:00:57,717
We don't eat in the quarters!

12
00:00:57,741 --> 00:00:59,685
We eat in the mess hall!

13
00:00:59,709 --> 00:01:02,444
And we don't take
any food out of there!

14
00:01:02,512 --> 00:01:04,546
Get rid of it! Yes, sir!

15
00:01:04,614 --> 00:01:07,349
And we don't waste
food, do we, Hemsley?

16
00:01:07,418 --> 00:01:08,650
No, sir!

17
00:01:10,921 --> 00:01:13,588
Will you remember that?

18
00:01:14,558 --> 00:01:16,224
Yes, sir!

19
00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:17,809
Move it!

20
00:01:30,740 --> 00:01:32,007
Pyle!

21
00:01:36,780 --> 00:01:39,197
You know what, Pyle?
I think you're gettin' fat!

22
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:42,012
Well, sir, they do
feed good in there.

23
00:01:42,036 --> 00:01:43,796
I mean, that's real town eatin'.

24
00:01:43,820 --> 00:01:46,421
What are you, some
kind of chowhound?

25
00:01:46,490 --> 00:01:48,923
Pull in that gut. Yes, sir.

26
00:01:48,993 --> 00:01:51,959
I said pull in that
gut! Pull in that gut!

27
00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:54,829
You know, gut-pullin'-in is
one of my biggest weaknesses.

28
00:01:54,898 --> 00:01:56,776
I know I'll get the
hang of it, though.

29
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,744
I've made up my mind to it.

30
00:01:58,768 --> 00:02:01,002
Gut-pullin'-in. Yes, sir.

31
00:02:01,071 --> 00:02:04,406
How many times did you
go through that chow line?

32
00:02:04,474 --> 00:02:06,452
Twice, sir. What
are you trying to do?

33
00:02:06,476 --> 00:02:08,421
You got a lot of fat
between your ears,

34
00:02:08,445 --> 00:02:10,957
now you're trying to match
it up further down? Is that it?

35
00:02:10,981 --> 00:02:14,349
Well, sir, I guess I'm just
one of them unlucky people.

36
00:02:14,418 --> 00:02:17,452
Take after my mama's
side of the family. Huh?

37
00:02:17,521 --> 00:02:19,499
Well, on my mama's
side of the family,

38
00:02:19,523 --> 00:02:22,123
every blessed thing
they eat turns right into fat,

39
00:02:22,192 --> 00:02:23,970
but on my daddy's
side, it's just the opposite.

40
00:02:23,994 --> 00:02:26,962
They can eat and eat and eat,
and it don't hardly ever show.

41
00:02:27,031 --> 00:02:29,125
Pyle. Used to make
my mama so mad.

42
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,995
She'd say to daddy, "How
come you can eat and eat and eat

43
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,596
"and it don't hardly ever show,

44
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,332
"and I can eat just a
little bit and it just..."

45
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:36,588
Stow it!

46
00:02:37,757 --> 00:02:40,692
Now, let's watch it!
Cut down on the spuds!

47
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,027
That's another thing.

48
00:02:42,096 --> 00:02:43,974
Daddy could eat all
the taters he wanted to,

49
00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:46,948
but mama would just eat
one tater... Knock it off!

50
00:02:47,017 --> 00:02:48,895
Now, move out! Yes, sir.

51
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,253
Pull it in, pull it in!

52
00:02:51,321 --> 00:02:53,699
That's another thing. Mama
used to try to pull it in and...

53
00:02:53,723 --> 00:02:56,158
Get outta here! Go, go, go!

54
00:03:00,997 --> 00:03:02,130
Hey, Joey.

55
00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:05,100
I brought you somethin' to eat.

56
00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:09,871
See here. I got some
little, boiled taters

57
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:11,540
and some... some weenies

58
00:03:12,509 --> 00:03:16,811
and some bread, a
little cartoon of milk.

59
00:03:18,315 --> 00:03:20,348
That was cold
sittin' up against me.

60
00:03:21,718 --> 00:03:24,018
That's... That's real
swell of you, Gomer.

61
00:03:24,088 --> 00:03:26,521
Go on and eat it fast before
the Sergeant comes back.

62
00:03:26,590 --> 00:03:28,056
I can't.

63
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:31,759
Y-You're a real goombah,
but... Thanks, I can't.

64
00:03:31,828 --> 00:03:33,361
But you gotta eat somethin'.

65
00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:35,230
You'll just knot up
inside if you don't.

66
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:36,776
That's what happens
when you don't eat.

67
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,079
You just get all knotted up
inside. Here, eat somethin'.

68
00:03:39,103 --> 00:03:42,270
It's no use! I just
don't feel like eatin'!

69
00:03:42,339 --> 00:03:45,185
Look, I know you was taking a
big chance sneaking this stuff out,

70
00:03:45,209 --> 00:03:47,287
and... and I appreciate
it. You know what I mean?

71
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:48,626
But I just can't!

72
00:03:48,679 --> 00:03:50,746
Come on, Joey, you
gotta stop mopin'.

73
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:52,580
She's gonna write
to you any day now.

74
00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:54,494
You'll see, there's
gonna be a letter.

75
00:03:54,518 --> 00:03:55,929
Of all the dumb, idiotic things,

76
00:03:55,953 --> 00:03:57,230
I have to have a
fight with my girl

77
00:03:57,254 --> 00:03:58,632
just before I leave
for boot camp.

78
00:04:00,124 --> 00:04:02,423
She'll write to you any
day now. You'll see.

79
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,412
When? When, already?
It's two weeks, and nothing!

80
00:04:06,697 --> 00:04:09,342
Joey, you gotta quit hittin'
yourself in the head like that.

81
00:04:09,366 --> 00:04:11,366
You gonna make yourself loopy.

82
00:04:11,434 --> 00:04:13,880
Why won't she write, huh,
Gomer? Why won't she write?

83
00:04:15,773 --> 00:04:18,373
I imagine it's 'cause what
you said to her mama.

84
00:04:18,441 --> 00:04:20,787
You oughtn't have told her
mama to go jump in the lake.

85
00:04:20,811 --> 00:04:23,945
Why not, huh? Why not?

86
00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:26,325
Me and Rosemary were all for
gettin' married on my first leave,

87
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:29,462
and then her mother... Oh, her
mother! You know what she says?

88
00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,097
She says, "What's the rush?

89
00:04:31,121 --> 00:04:33,133
"Let's make sure first he doesn't
get a dishonorable discharge."

90
00:04:33,157 --> 00:04:35,168
So I tell her to go
jump in the lake.

91
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,503
Now, the old lady gets mad,
Rosey gets mad, I get mad,

92
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,761
and here I am with no letters!

93
00:04:39,830 --> 00:04:41,462
You oughtn't said that.

94
00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:44,800
Joey, you gotta quit doin' that.

95
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:50,354
Sergeant Carter's
on his way, you guys.

96
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:54,326
Ten-hut!

97
00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:57,161
All you people listen up!

98
00:04:57,230 --> 00:05:00,998
Tomorrow being Sunday,
it's a day of recreation!

99
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:03,601
Does that make you people happy?

100
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:05,303
Yes, sir.

101
00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:07,705
Then look happy!

102
00:05:07,774 --> 00:05:10,141
What's the matter?
Aren't you happy here?

103
00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:11,709
Yes, sir!

104
00:05:11,778 --> 00:05:13,478
Well, let's hear it!

105
00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:17,348
We're happy, sir.
I can't hear you!

106
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:20,134
We're happy, sir! Okay!

107
00:05:20,204 --> 00:05:22,604
Tomorrow will be
a recreation day

108
00:05:22,673 --> 00:05:24,706
for all of you, except one.

109
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:27,942
I need one of you people

110
00:05:28,011 --> 00:05:30,545
to air some mattresses out back.

111
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:35,217
Now, who needs
a little exercise?

112
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,786
Who is a chowhound

113
00:05:38,855 --> 00:05:42,624
that needs to work
off a little extra lard?

114
00:05:47,297 --> 00:05:48,830
What time, sir?

115
00:05:51,235 --> 00:05:54,135
Believe me, Miss
Cassanetti, I sympathize,

116
00:05:54,204 --> 00:05:57,706
but our regulations in this
connection are very specific.

117
00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,708
Recruits are not
permitted visitors

118
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,344
until they have completed
four weeks of training.

119
00:06:02,412 --> 00:06:04,663
Private Lombardi has
not been here that long.

120
00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:06,631
But can't I see
him for a minute?

121
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,067
I came such a long
way, and it's Sunday.

122
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:10,869
I'm very sorry,

123
00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:13,549
but if we start making
exceptions there'll be no end to it.

124
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:15,373
Why don't you write to him?

125
00:06:15,441 --> 00:06:17,754
Well, up until last night, my
mother wouldn't even let me do that.

126
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:19,388
But I finally showed her
where she was wrong,

127
00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:21,279
and I rushed right over here.

128
00:06:21,347 --> 00:06:24,310
Can't I see him? I gotta
tell him everything's all right.

129
00:06:24,334 --> 00:06:27,803
I really would like to help
you. I hope you'll understand.

130
00:06:29,706 --> 00:06:32,290
Well, thanks anyway.

131
00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:37,596
Today, being Sunday,
is a day of recreation!

132
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:42,567
I wanna see every one
of you people participating

133
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:44,503
and having fun!

134
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:51,610
I don't wanna catch
anybody not having fun!

135
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:53,378
Is that clear?

136
00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:54,779
Yes, sir!

137
00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:57,115
What are you going to have?

138
00:06:57,183 --> 00:06:59,501
Fun, sir! Fall out!

139
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:08,176
What's the matter with
you? Can I be excused, sir?

140
00:07:08,244 --> 00:07:10,679
I don't feel too good, sir.

141
00:07:10,747 --> 00:07:12,814
You don't feel too good, where?

142
00:07:12,882 --> 00:07:15,183
My stomach, sir.

143
00:07:15,251 --> 00:07:16,962
You mean you don't
want to get out there

144
00:07:16,986 --> 00:07:18,986
with the rest of those
people and have fun?

145
00:07:19,055 --> 00:07:21,255
No, sir. If you don't mind, sir.

146
00:07:21,325 --> 00:07:23,425
Well, I do mind!

147
00:07:23,493 --> 00:07:26,071
So next Sunday, you
be out there and have fun.

148
00:07:26,095 --> 00:07:28,062
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

149
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:58,710
Hey, ma'am.

150
00:07:58,779 --> 00:07:59,927
Hello.

151
00:08:02,199 --> 00:08:05,083
Are you waitin' on
somebody? Well, kind of.

152
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:09,020
I was hoping I'd catch a glimpse of
my boyfriend. He's stationed here.

153
00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:12,006
Oh, but it's such a big
place, and there's so many.

154
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,725
I'll never find him.

155
00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:16,594
Well, who is your boyfriend,
ma'am? If I ain't bein' too personal.

156
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:17,995
Maybe I know him.

157
00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,331
I sure doubt it.

158
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:22,266
His name's Lombardi.
Joey Lombardi.

159
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:25,002
Joey Lombardi? Do I know him!

160
00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:26,621
Why, Joey and me is buddies!

161
00:08:26,690 --> 00:08:28,890
You don't mean it! I sure do!

162
00:08:28,959 --> 00:08:31,776
Why, he sleeps in the bed
right next to me. I mean "bunk."

163
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:33,678
You don't ever say
"bed" down here.

164
00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:36,226
Don't ever let a Drill
Instructor hear you say

165
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,149
"bed" or "floor."

166
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:41,386
It's a "bunk" and
the floor is "deck"

167
00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:43,754
and the wall is "bulkhead."

168
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:46,057
Betcha don't know
what they call a door.

169
00:08:47,010 --> 00:08:48,693
A "hatch."

170
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:50,896
Tell me about Joey.
You really know him?

171
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,865
I sure do. Imagine
runnin' into you like this.

172
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:56,901
Hey, you got to be Rosemary.

173
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,469
That's right.

174
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,172
Well, would you pay attention
to this! It's like they say.

175
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:02,841
It's a little bitty
world, ain't it?

176
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:05,443
Pleased to meet you,
ma'am. I'm Gomer Pyle.

177
00:09:05,511 --> 00:09:08,012
Hello, Gomer. Joey
told you about me?

178
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,480
About all there is to tell.

179
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,649
Gomer, how is he?

180
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:15,620
Well, he mopes around a lot, and
he don't eat much, and he don't sleep,

181
00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:17,666
and he hits hisself
in the head a lot.

182
00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:19,790
Other than that,
though, he's just fine.

183
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,292
Poor Joey.

184
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,561
Gosh, he's gonna be
so tickled to see you,

185
00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:25,691
he ain't gonna quit
grinnin' for a month.

186
00:09:25,715 --> 00:09:27,265
But I can't see him!

187
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:29,050
Huh? Why not?

188
00:09:29,119 --> 00:09:31,599
Oh, well, I don't have
permission. You see, I was...

189
00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:33,182
Well, you got my permission.

190
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:35,151
You come all this way
to see your loved one

191
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:37,408
and not see him.
Why, that'd be cruel.

192
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:39,439
Come on, I'm gonna
take you to your loved one.

193
00:09:39,463 --> 00:09:41,106
Why, that'd be a
terrible disappointment,

194
00:09:41,130 --> 00:09:43,097
if you didn't get to
see your loved one.

195
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,661
You just come on with me.

196
00:10:08,758 --> 00:10:10,091
Hey, Joey.

197
00:10:11,161 --> 00:10:12,526
Hey, Gomer.

198
00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:16,914
Joey?

199
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:24,622
Rosey?

200
00:10:29,312 --> 00:10:31,079
Rosey! Oh, Rosey! Oh, Joey.

201
00:10:31,147 --> 00:10:33,843
That's who it is, all right. It's
Rosemary, your loved one.

202
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:36,417
I missed you so much, baby.

203
00:10:36,486 --> 00:10:38,252
Oh, Joey.

204
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,107
Oh, Rosey.

205
00:10:46,362 --> 00:10:49,682
What are you cryin' for? You ain't supposed
to do that. You're supposed to be happy.

206
00:10:51,168 --> 00:10:53,901
You're supposed to be happy.
You ain't supposed to do that.

207
00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:56,904
Oh, Joey. Gosh! What
do you folks do at funerals?

208
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,491
Oh, baby.

209
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,125
Gomer says you're not eating.

210
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:03,127
Why don't you eat,
Joey? You'll get sick.

211
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,241
I couldn't eat, I
couldn't sleep. Nothing!

212
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,343
Oh, but everything's
gonna be okay now.

213
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,578
Hey, hey. That was
real nice of the Colonel

214
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:11,080
to give you permission
to come see me.

215
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,348
But what are you
doing back here?

216
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:14,516
They don't allow anybody
back here, especially women.

217
00:11:14,540 --> 00:11:17,508
I didn't, Joey. I didn't get
permission from the Colonel.

218
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:20,445
No? Well, who gave
you permission? Him.

219
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,897
Him? Me.

220
00:11:22,966 --> 00:11:24,466
He brought you in here?

221
00:11:24,534 --> 00:11:26,679
What's the matter? Joey,
are you gonna get in trouble?

222
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,257
What's going on? Who's this?

223
00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:35,905
Hey, fellers. This is
Rosemary, Joey's girl.

224
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:37,161
She's his loved one.

225
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:39,296
Say "hey" to the
fellers, Miss Rosemary.

226
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,366
Hey.

227
00:11:40,416 --> 00:11:42,083
Hi, Rosemary.

228
00:11:42,152 --> 00:11:43,996
Are you guys nuts? Standing
around with the introductions!

229
00:11:44,020 --> 00:11:45,402
There's a civilian back here.

230
00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:47,749
And a female civilian! I know,
I know. We were just going!

231
00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:49,952
What are you worried about,
Duke? It's my girl and my problem!

232
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:51,787
Oh, no, it isn't, buster.
It's everybody's problem!

233
00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:54,139
They find her back here and we
all get the boom lowered on us!

234
00:11:54,163 --> 00:11:57,043
All right, all right. Look, we'll
take her out the way she came in!

235
00:11:57,067 --> 00:11:59,378
Well, how'd she come in
here, anyway? I brung her.

236
00:11:59,402 --> 00:12:01,636
You brung... Gomer,
what's the matter with you,

237
00:12:01,705 --> 00:12:03,315
sneaking a dame in the barracks?

238
00:12:03,339 --> 00:12:06,018
We didn't sneak. I was
bringin' in some mattresses,

239
00:12:06,042 --> 00:12:08,387
and Miss Rosemary just
come along right beside us.

240
00:12:08,411 --> 00:12:10,656
Oh, Gomer, you sneaked
her in behind a mattress?

241
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:13,314
We didn't sneak!
Okay, you didn't sneak!

242
00:12:13,382 --> 00:12:15,644
Don't care much
for that expression.

243
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:18,169
Oh, boys, I'm so sorry. I'm
gonna get you all in trouble.

244
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,800
No, you're not, Miss Rosemary.
Now, don't you fret none.

245
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:23,707
Hey, guys, think of something
quick! Here comes the Sergeant!

246
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:28,613
We didn't sneak.

247
00:12:38,942 --> 00:12:40,052
What'll we do?
Get under the bunk!

248
00:12:40,076 --> 00:12:41,954
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

249
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:44,138
I really think we ought to
tell the Sergeant the truth.

250
00:12:48,584 --> 00:12:50,051
Ten-hut!

251
00:12:51,487 --> 00:12:53,087
Don't.

252
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:57,725
Well, did you people
have your recreation?

253
00:12:57,794 --> 00:13:00,695
Yes, sir! And did you have fun?

254
00:13:00,763 --> 00:13:02,730
Yes, sir!

255
00:13:02,799 --> 00:13:05,233
Did you finish with
that mattress detail?

256
00:13:05,302 --> 00:13:08,014
Yes, sir. And I
had fun, too, sir.

257
00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:10,038
What?

258
00:13:10,106 --> 00:13:12,819
It was just the recreation I
needed for a lazy Sunday afternoon.

259
00:13:12,843 --> 00:13:15,543
Well, that's just
dandy. Maybe I...

260
00:13:18,081 --> 00:13:20,849
Who is using perfumed soap?

261
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:28,055
All right, who's using
fancy shaving lotion?

262
00:13:28,124 --> 00:13:32,343
Now, look. There's one thing
you people have a right to know!

263
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:35,813
And that is, my nose don't lie!

264
00:13:35,881 --> 00:13:38,216
Whatever it is, get rid of it!

265
00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:42,052
You expect to be Marines?
You better smell like 'em!

266
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:45,189
And that ain't a Marine
smell! Is that clear?

267
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:47,458
Yes, sir! All right!

268
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:00,505
Okay!

269
00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:03,119
He's gotta get rid of her.

270
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:05,243
Hold it! Hold it! Gomer,
go get a mattress.

271
00:14:05,311 --> 00:14:06,688
Huh? Hurry up! Get the mattress!

272
00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:08,279
Let's go. Hurry.

273
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:09,758
Gomer sneaked her
in behind a mattress.

274
00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:11,127
It oughta work the
same way going out.

275
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:12,628
Come on, Gomer. Sneak
her out the same way.

276
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:14,719
It wasn't sneakin'.

277
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:17,354
Okay. Okay. All
right... I don't sneak.

278
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:19,635
All right. The rest of us
better stay here and lay low,

279
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,158
so we don't attract
any attention.

280
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:23,455
Oh, Joey. I'm so sorry
for making all this trouble.

281
00:14:23,479 --> 00:14:26,008
Come on, come on. Now, Gomer,
keep her hidden behind that mattress!

282
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,344
Keep her hidden! Gung-ho.

283
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,168
That means, "Everybody
workin' together."

284
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:31,536
Go! Go!

285
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,004
Goodbye, Rosey.

286
00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:59,229
Good afternoon, sir. What
are you doing, Private?

287
00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:01,131
Mattress detail, sir.

288
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,500
On Sunday?

289
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:05,519
Yes, sir. Sergeant said I
need to work off some lard.

290
00:15:06,856 --> 00:15:08,589
Carry on. Yes, sir.

291
00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:09,924
Go ahead.

292
00:15:11,777 --> 00:15:13,710
I think we can go now, Rosemary.

293
00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:16,147
I don't think it
would hurt, anyways.

294
00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:21,618
Rosemary?

295
00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:22,953
Rosemary?

296
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,325
Pyle!

297
00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:31,296
I thought you finished
this mattress detail.

298
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,109
Yes, sir. I did, sir.

299
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,699
But not quite, sir. No, sir.

300
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:39,003
Well, finish it! Get those
mattresses back on the double!

301
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:40,338
Yes, sir.

302
00:16:43,119 --> 00:16:44,318
Pyle...

303
00:16:46,522 --> 00:16:47,905
Gomer Pyle?

304
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:55,129
Stay right where you are.

305
00:16:55,198 --> 00:16:58,299
Don't move. Don't go no place.

306
00:16:58,367 --> 00:16:59,967
Just stay right there.

307
00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:04,883
Gomer, where did she
go? Where did she go?

308
00:17:04,907 --> 00:17:06,151
What do you mean you lost her!

309
00:17:06,175 --> 00:17:07,853
Where were you when
the officer showed up?

310
00:17:07,877 --> 00:17:10,155
Well, I was somewhere
near Sergeant Carter's hut.

311
00:17:10,179 --> 00:17:11,779
Oh, no!

312
00:17:11,847 --> 00:17:13,592
Oh, she wouldn't
have gone in there.

313
00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:14,982
Hey, you guys!

314
00:17:15,051 --> 00:17:17,091
Here he comes, with
murder in his eye!

315
00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:18,886
This is it, fellas! Zero hour!

316
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:20,421
Ten-hut!

317
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,026
Why?

318
00:17:27,263 --> 00:17:29,697
Just one thing. Why?

319
00:17:29,766 --> 00:17:32,144
Sir... What are you
trying to do to me?

320
00:17:32,168 --> 00:17:34,001
You wanna destroy
me, is that it?

321
00:17:34,069 --> 00:17:36,671
Sir... Sixteen years
in the Marine Corps.

322
00:17:36,739 --> 00:17:40,574
Sir... Five Good Conduct
Medals, cited for bravery in Korea,

323
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:42,242
three Honor Platoons in a row.

324
00:17:42,312 --> 00:17:45,946
Sir... Sixteen years of
working hard, sacrificing,

325
00:17:46,015 --> 00:17:49,817
trying to make good. Sixteen years
to get to the top of my profession,

326
00:17:49,885 --> 00:17:51,852
and you gotta foul
the whole thing up

327
00:17:51,921 --> 00:17:54,121
by stashing a dame in my locker!

328
00:17:54,190 --> 00:17:56,023
But I didn't... Pyle!

329
00:17:56,091 --> 00:17:59,527
Do you have any idea
what they'll do with me

330
00:17:59,595 --> 00:18:03,263
if they find a dame stashed
in a Drill Instructor's locker?

331
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,766
Do you know the best
that can happen to me?

332
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:08,669
If I'm lucky, I'll go
to Leavenworth!

333
00:18:08,738 --> 00:18:12,272
You see, that's in Kansas,
not too far from my hometown!

334
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:14,936
Sir... What do you want?

335
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:17,200
Sir, the girl in your locker
happens to be my girl.

336
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,074
Gomer was just trying
to get her off the base.

337
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,209
It's all my fault that Gomer...

338
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:21,743
No, it's not your fault, Joey.

339
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,312
I'm the one that
brought her on to here.

340
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,113
But she's my girl and
she came here to see...

341
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,248
But I told her that she
could come on here...

342
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,782
Gomer, she wouldn't
have come if it were...

343
00:18:27,806 --> 00:18:30,046
You never would...
Knock it off! Both of you!

344
00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:33,210
Let me think.

345
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,479
Sir, if I may suggest,

346
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:38,249
the best way is always
the easy, direct way.

347
00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:39,961
Why don't I go up
to Colonel and say,

348
00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:42,018
"Colonel, we got this problem.

349
00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:44,927
"You see, we got this young
lady in Sergeant Carter..."

350
00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:47,991
Don't you say anything.

351
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:52,296
Don't move, don't
talk, don't even breathe.

352
00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:55,633
But it's my responsibility.
It was your responsibility.

353
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:58,168
But now it's on my
back. Do you understand?

354
00:18:58,237 --> 00:19:00,837
It's now my
responsibility! Mine!

355
00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:03,240
You, I'll take care of later!

356
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:06,176
Right now, we gotta get
that girl out of here and fast!

357
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:09,913
I got it.

358
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:13,550
We leave her in the locker.
That's how we get her out.

359
00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:15,952
We walk her out, locker and all.

360
00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:18,900
Now, that's sneaky.
What I done wasn't sneaky.

361
00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:20,391
Knock it off!

362
00:19:26,198 --> 00:19:27,942
Easy, easy. That's
my girl in there.

363
00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:29,933
Yeah. Don't jangle
his loved one.

364
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,789
All right, let's go.
This way, this way.

365
00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:53,107
Good afternoon, sir.

366
00:19:53,176 --> 00:19:55,221
Good afternoon. What
have we got here, Sergeant?

367
00:19:55,245 --> 00:19:58,812
Personal locker. A little,
uh, paint and repair, sir.

368
00:19:58,881 --> 00:20:02,082
Yes, sir. A little repair
job and some paint.

369
00:20:02,151 --> 00:20:04,129
Looks like they did a good job.

370
00:20:04,153 --> 00:20:06,953
Here, I'll hold
the door for you.

371
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,390
Thank you, sir.

372
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,987
Hold it, hold it! You
got her upside down!

373
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,370
Rosey, are you all right?

374
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,519
I-I'm all right.

375
00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:48,779
Sergeant?

376
00:20:48,847 --> 00:20:52,127
I'm sorry your locker
idea didn't work.

377
00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:53,551
Pyle...

378
00:20:56,389 --> 00:21:00,023
I may only get
chewed out for this.

379
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:02,526
Then again, I might
lose my stripes

380
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:05,129
and get busted down
to a buck private.

381
00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:10,067
I might even get sent to
the brig for... Who knows?

382
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:13,870
Say, a month, a year.

383
00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:19,176
But one day, they'll let me out.

384
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,279
And when they do,

385
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,549
I'm going to look for you.

386
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,121
I'm going to look and look

387
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:31,922
until I find you.

388
00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:34,958
Because I'll find you.

389
00:21:36,162 --> 00:21:38,629
And when I find you,

390
00:21:38,697 --> 00:21:40,797
I'm not gonna
kill you right away.

391
00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:43,534
Not right away.

392
00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:49,039
But, sir... First, I gotta figure
out how I'm going to kill you.

393
00:21:49,107 --> 00:21:51,542
Oh, it might be
by strangulation.

394
00:21:52,411 --> 00:21:53,855
Or it might be... Sir.

395
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:55,974
You've got every
right to feel that way.

396
00:21:55,998 --> 00:21:57,798
This whole thing's my fault.

397
00:21:57,867 --> 00:22:00,100
I thought I was
helpin' out a buddy,

398
00:22:00,169 --> 00:22:02,670
and I never expected
to get you into trouble.

399
00:22:02,739 --> 00:22:04,788
I just feel terrible.

400
00:22:04,857 --> 00:22:07,324
Do you really? Oh, yes, sir.

401
00:22:11,563 --> 00:22:14,498
No, not yet, not yet.

402
00:22:14,566 --> 00:22:16,411
Sir, what I wanted to say is,

403
00:22:16,435 --> 00:22:19,103
I got this idea of how to get
Miss Rosemary out of here,

404
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:20,570
and I'm sure it'll work.

405
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,873
You are, huh?

406
00:22:22,942 --> 00:22:24,862
I promise, and if it don't,

407
00:22:24,910 --> 00:22:28,145
you can go ahead and
strangulate me right here.

408
00:22:28,213 --> 00:22:29,992
All right, you people!
Let's move! Let's move!

409
00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:32,616
You in there, come on!
Let's move! Dress it up!

410
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:35,252
Left face!

411
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,855
Forward march!

412
00:22:37,923 --> 00:22:39,289
Left, right, left!

413
00:22:39,358 --> 00:22:41,536
Oh, now, there's an
eager beaver for you.

414
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,872
Don't even let his
boots off on Sunday.

415
00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:46,429
You know, maybe that's how
he gets those Honor Platoons.

416
00:22:46,499 --> 00:22:47,981
Yeah.

417
00:22:48,050 --> 00:22:51,502
Left, right, left, right,
left, two, three, four...

418
00:22:54,774 --> 00:22:58,509
Left and left, two,
three, right, left...

419
00:22:59,545 --> 00:23:02,496
Company, left turn!

420
00:23:02,565 --> 00:23:07,167
Left, right, left, right! Left,
two, three, right, left, right, left!

421
00:23:07,236 --> 00:23:10,003
Right... Turn!

422
00:23:10,072 --> 00:23:12,673
Left, right, left,
right, left, right!

423
00:23:17,947 --> 00:23:19,646
Right, left, right, left!

424
00:23:19,715 --> 00:23:21,081
Get in line!

425
00:23:21,150 --> 00:23:22,616
Get in there!

426
00:23:26,822 --> 00:23:29,155
Fourty-nine, sir. Fifty!

427
00:23:29,224 --> 00:23:31,759
Fifty, sir. On your feet!

428
00:23:35,381 --> 00:23:37,209
Of all the dumb,
stupid things to do,

429
00:23:37,233 --> 00:23:39,233
bringing a dame
into your quarters!

430
00:23:39,302 --> 00:23:41,935
Dumb and stupid,
stupid and dumb.

431
00:23:42,004 --> 00:23:45,573
Now, I don't want a sign,
not a smell or a trace,

432
00:23:45,641 --> 00:23:48,754
that there was a girl in
this area! Do you hear me?

433
00:23:48,778 --> 00:23:51,045
Yes, sir. All
taken care of, sir.

434
00:23:51,113 --> 00:23:54,314
I'll have you doin' push-ups
till you're an old man!

435
00:23:54,383 --> 00:23:55,816
Yes, sir.

436
00:23:55,885 --> 00:23:58,565
All right, get outta
here! Yes, sir.

437
00:23:59,956 --> 00:24:02,957
Excuse me, sir.
Sorry, sir. Aye, aye, sir.

438
00:24:06,161 --> 00:24:07,527
What a knucklehead.

439
00:24:07,597 --> 00:24:09,329
He's the worst.

440
00:24:09,398 --> 00:24:12,032
He always manages
to find somehow to...

441
00:24:15,004 --> 00:24:17,505
Hmm, cute!

442
00:24:17,573 --> 00:24:19,940
Are you gonna wear
this Saturday night?

443
00:24:24,313 --> 00:24:28,215
Pyle!


